Quiz: Are you an asshole?
20:01 03 September
in
by admin
Take our quiz and learn how much of an asshole you are!
Please note, this quiz has not been peer-reviewed and has no ties to any reputable scientific studies. As much as it is an attempt to demonstrate the shifting (and sometimes non-obvious) nature of asshole behaviour, it's results should be taken in the tongue-in-cheek manner in which this quiz was created.
Question 1 of 10.
How often do you criticize your co-workers?
1. Never
2. Only when I see them screw up
3. Only when someone else brings up their shortcomings first
4. Only while I’m awake
Question 2 of 10.
How do you respond to another person’s success?
1. I congratulate them and/or shake their hand
2. I tell them they could have achieved more had I been involved
3. I congratulate them but change the subject to one of my own successes
4. I joke about how easy it would be to do what they accomplished, even blind-folded with one hand tied behind my back
Question 3 of 10.
What do you say to someone who’s accused you of insulting them?
1. I apologize and have them point out what I said to avoid a similar incident in the future
2. I apologize then change the subject to something more congenial
3. I tell them I was ‘just joking’ and they shouldn’t be so sensitive
4. I tell them I’m sorry they were offended and will avoid hanging around them in the future so I don’t have to censor what I say
Question 4 of 10.
What would you do if your able-bodied best friend parked in a handicapped parking spot when no other spot was available?
1. Point out to them that they were in a handicapped parking spot and should move
2. Bring up the 'Seinfeld' episode when George parked in a handicapped parking spot and had his vehicle demolished, and see if they get the hint
3. Make a joke about how my friend must be disabled in their head
4. Get out of the vehicle and quickly walk away before anyone notices
Question 5 of 10.
When seated on public transit, what is the distance between your knees?
1. None. They are typically touching.
2. 6 inches
3. 12 inches
4. 18 inches or more
Question 6 of 10.
When is it appropriate to text on your mobile phone during a movie?
1. Never
2. After just remembering I told my friends to meet me in the wrong theatre
3. When the movie is so bad I must warn others not to waste their money
4. Whenever the mood strikes me
Question 7 of 10.
What is your typical reaction upon seeing a homeless person begging for spare change?
1. I think ‘There but for the grace of God go I’
2. I tell them to ‘get a job’
3. I call the police to come and arrest them
4. I grab a handful of gravel and toss it in their cup
Question 8 of 10.
What do you do if you’re out in public, you just finished drinking from a disposable cup, and you don’t see a trashcan anywhere.
1. I don’t buy drinks that require a disposable cup and would never find myself in that situation
2. I carry the empty cup until I come across a trashcan and can throw it out
3. I set the cup on the ground and promise to myself I’ll pick up other trash I see on the ground when there’s a trashcan nearby
4. I drop the cup on the ground and leave (it’ll decompose eventually anyway)
Question 9 of 10.
How would you respond if one of the people you manage tells you in confidence that they don’t appreciate the way you belittle their ideas in front of others.
1. I apologize and commit to changing my behaviour
2. I tell them I’d like detailed evidence and/or witnesses to support their accusation
3. At the next group meeting I let everyone know what this employee told me and ask everyone else if they agree
4. I make their working environment a living hell in the hopes that they will eventually quit
Question 10 of 10.
You’re next in line at the supermarket checkout and the person in front is paying with change that they insist upon counting out slowly, coin by coin.
1. I patiently wait my turn, checking out in the tabloids which celebrity recently gave birth to an alien baby
2. I switch to another checkout
3. I cough and sigh very loudly so this person realizes how much they are inconveniencing me
4. I invite this person to either join the 21st century or put me out of my misery with their musket
All 10 questions completed!
